We Live In The Same Town, You And I

We live in the same town, you and I.
I see you walking down the sidewalk, waiting at a bus stop, crossing in front of my van.

We live in the same town, you and I.
You don’t seem to see or recognize me, but I see you every time. My eyes search for a glimpse of your jacket. My heart starts at the sight of your face.

We live in the same town, you and I.
My whole being is filled with such confusing and conflicting emotions. Such a surreal juxtaposition to sit in the drivers’ seat with the seats behind me full of life while you walk, alone. You once had what is now mine. My heart can hardly contain the enormity of that truth.

We live in the same town, you and I.
Fear. Anger. Compassion. Empathy. Judgment. Wondering. Wishing.
All these things and more pass through my head in an instant. In the blink of an eye. The prattle behind me filling the seats fades into the background and all I can focus on is you. You and the emotions and thoughts swirling through my mind.

We live in the same town, you and I.
How can tears of sadness fill my eyes, while my mind begins to question, and my heart races in fear? How can I feel all these things just at the sight of your face? What would you say if I hopped out of my car to greet you? What would I say? We share something so deep, so precious, so complicated. How can I begin to comprehend?

We live in the same town, you and I.
I snapped a photo the other day. I know you didn’t see, and I do hope no one thought me creepy or rude. Somehow, that morning, I just wanted a piece to pass onto those souls in the back seat. A sighting. A proof that you were well at one time. A glimpse of you that just might be that tiny bit of glue to help to heal their shattered hearts. That day that will come when they just need a tiny piece.

We live in the same town, you and I.
I wish that my eyes could see how you really are – below the surface. I feel a drawing to you. A deep connection. I want to know that you’re ok. I want to see that your life is still carrying on. I strain my eyes to catch any glimpse of the hope and well-being that I pray to be present in your life.

We live in the same town, you and I.
I see you and I wonder who is reaching out to you. We did not meet under ideal circumstances. I had to choose your children at a time when you simply could not. And now, your children are mine by law and still I must keep my distance. It is not my time or place but how I long with every fiber of my being to know that you are being loved. In person. With kind and gentle hands. With the truth that can set you free.

We live in the same town, you and I.
We will meet again someday. Of this I am almost certain. We will enter a room. Our child by my side. It will be so very different this time. I have no idea what I will say. Or how you will feel. The pain of loss will feel so overwhelming. For all of us. But our child is beautiful. And our child is loved. And I pray that we will find a way to start again. To live together in this same town. But no longer pass each other by.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to We Live In The Same Town, You And I

  1. Kaila Gregg says:

    This is beautiful. We just recently had the privilege of reconnecting with our sons birth mother. It has been very emotiona for us all, but also a blessing. Your poem is exactly how we have felt for the last 8 years. Thanks for writing it and sharing it with the world.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *