Redemption Wins

The morning had been rough. Husband and wife were struggling to communicate. Time is short. Emotions are worn. Nerves are frayed. She found herself wondering as she drove the children to school how much the children picked up on tense words delivered over a phone call. And, if they did, if they also heard the words of repentenance and forgiveness. What showed most to the children? The sin? Or the grace and growth? Could they still see Jesus in their parents’ marriage?

She interrupted her thoughts to tune back in to the child who had been speaking to her throughout her troubled pondering:

“…and then when I finish school I want to become a foster parent so that I can give a safe home to kids like me. And then I want to marry a lady who wants to love foster children. I didn’t think I would ever get married. But you and dad make it look so fun to be married. I think marriage is a good thing now.”

And redemption wins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She must’ve stumbled 7 times between the door and the kitchen table. Toys, diapers, blankets, books, and boxes that needed to go to the attic littered the floor. Tears filled her eyes as she surveyed the house. The week had been extra full of court appointments, school meetings, doctor appointments, and behavior issues. Would she ever find a balance? Would the house always be this messy? Could her children even see Jesus shining through the mess in their home?

Screaming and angry words came tumbling down from the upstairs. Another squabble. More fighting. No time to clean up.

She dodged the piles on the stairs (yes, it had come to that) as she went up to talk to the squabbling children upstairs. More piles in the hallway.

One child needed some more in depth talking than the bedroom would allow. Into the bathroom they went surrounded by piles of laundry. Piles and piles.

Tears. Talking. Finally…

“Mommy, I need Jesus to die for sins.”
“He did, sweetie. That’s why Jesus died on the cross. It was for our sins.”
“But I need Him to die for ME!!! I need His help!”

And redemption wins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She giggled.

The sound jolted through this mommy’s heart even as her eyes filled with tears.

She had giggled!

It had been a little over a year they had known this precious girl. Every day, several times a day, when husband and wife kissed or embraced there was no giggle. Instead eyes were covered. Tears. Shaking. Fear.

But today. There in the car, when Daddy leaned in to give Mommy a big, loud, silly kiss.

She giggled.

And redemption wins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another court date. Another horrific day at school. Dangerous and disrespectful behavior. Numerous phone calls and texts. There were interventions and restraints. Nothing was reaching this child who was running from an unexpressed fear with unrestrained vehemence.

An early pickup was required. Tears and repentance came but hearts were still so heavy. How to help this hurting child understand the correct way to handle this all-encompassing fear??

A new service provider was filling in for the evening visit. This brought more fear and uncertainty into the young life. Other options were discussed, but in the end it was deteremined that this was how it needed to be. Reassurances were given, but the fear remained.

When the visit was over, he came running in the door ecstatic: “Hey, Mom, guess what!? (He never called her Mom…) She’s awesome! And she’s a Christian! And she told me her favorite verse and it’s about praying when you’re scared!”

She thanked the service provider with tears in her eyes. The lady nodded. She understood.

She turned back around to his continued talking.

“And I was thinking. Sometime when I’m up later than the little kids, could you and I find verses about being afraid? And then could you teach me to memorize them? I don’t know how to memorize, but I’ve heard you memorize. And then when I’m afraid, maybe I could say the verses and remember to trust in God!”

She returned his very tightly squeezing hug as tears streamed down her cheeks.

And redemption wins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She couldn’t stop starring out the kitchen window.

They were playing! Out in the yard!

Their brightly colored rain boots tromped through the mud and grass as they used sticks and sand buckets to collect a wide variety of interesting treasures. They were little best friends. Chatting about their finds. Exploring together. Completely at ease and free.

She couldn’t help but let her mind drift back. To the very first time she had tried to play with them outside.

Their little backs had stayed pressed against the sliding door in paralyzing fear. Nothing she said or did convinced them to leave that position of relative safety and venture out into the yard.

But today.
They were exploring.
No fear in sight.

And redemption wins.

 

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3 Responses to Redemption Wins

  1. Anne-Laure says:

    Dear Lydia,
    I found and read your whole blog yesterday. So many words of yours touched my heart. I am a “normal” Mom of biological children, and now I understand better what foster care is about, and you are inspiring me to love my children better, going to our Lord for everything. Thank you,
    Anne-Laure

  2. Hello there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group? There’s a lot of folks that I think would really enjoy your content. Please let me know. Thanks

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