You smile, you giggle, you spin, skip, dance, and sing. Oh! How you sing!
Nobody looking at you would know. Nobody watching you play with such imagination would ever guess. Nobody who sees you now would say what was said to me back at the beginning. When I had only known you a short while.
“It might’ve been better if she had never been born.”
I know what they meant. They were expressing sorrow and pain because they knew. They knew about the chapters of darkness, fear, abuse, and trauma in your little life. Horrible, terrible chapters. Chapters that still give both of us nightmares. Keep us up snuggling countless nights. Chapters that still cause you to flinch if I approach you by surprise. Chapters that I don’t understand. Can’t wrap my mind around.
But, precious girl, I don’t agree. I don’t agree that you would be better off dead or unborn.
You, precious girl, are an earth-shaker. A world-changer. You have overcome more at the age of 4 than most of us have to in an entire lifetime. And you have overcome with joy, with tenacity, with a stubborn persistence that makes you shine.
You are the joy in your classroom. The giggles at the lunch table. The hugs for the hurting. The sunshine in your world.
You shine with your own style. You delight in showing kindness to others. You approach life with a free and joyful abandon that I envy.
Precious girl, you are loved. You are lovely. You are loving.
Your life is beautiful. And I thank my God each and every day for it.
I thank Him for creating you. And for creating your mama. Your mama who chose to give you life.
I’m thankful you’re alive.
~for Aleesa on 3.4.2016